When you consider it, children have much less life experience than adults. Many of the situations that children have to encounter are indeed new, and thus they may not be equipped with the skills to handle them.
The fear of constantly having to react to new situations with unfamiliar people could make a child withdraw. Children who are teased too much, overly criticized and even threatened may become accustomed to receiving a negative response from others. It is no surprise then, that their self-esteem may be painfully and drastically lowered, and they may assume that everyone will dislike them.
This leads to the avoidance of social situations and contact with other people. Conversely, children who have low opinions of themselves, expect others to feel the same way about them too. If a child is punished one day for a behaviour, and then the next day nothing happens, they experience inconsistent parenting. Inconsistent parenting may cause a child to feel insecure, and they might get the impression that their parent is over-involved sometimes, and under-involved at other times.
Parents may give children the impression that they have neither the time nor desire to be involved in their child's life. This can be very devastating to a child.
If a parent appears to be disinterested in the child's development, this may cause the child to shy away from people, believing that they will be perceived as unimportant or 'not worth it'. This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more information. Shyness and social anxiety can ruin your social interactions by making you constantly self-conscious. I recommend taking the Master Your People Skills course by Vanessa Edwards on CreativeLive to learn how to be more comfortable in social settings and how to feel more confident.
I've taken this course and love it because it teaches you how to better understand people and social interactions, which is a major step in overcoming shyness. With the right tools, you can overcome shyness over time no matter what the causes of your shyness are.
So those are the major causes of shyness and why people may be moved to avoid social situations. As you may have seen, shyness can be influenced by a range of factors. However shyness can also be caused by new situations that people face later in life. I hope you found this article interesting and that it helped to explain reasons why people may be shy. Looking for tips to improve the way you study and retain information? Here are the best study skills courses online to teach you how to study like the pros.
How well do you know yourself? Today, we'll be talking about the topic of intrapersonal intelligence, and how it makes you see the world a little differently. Here are the best audiobooks for learning English. If you can see this, please share this post with the buttons below :. Comments Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below. Recent Articles. Enjoy this page? Please pay it forward. Here's how For example, a shy child may be more likely to isolate themselves in a playground and watch everybody else rather than engaging.
That then makes them feel more comfortable being on their own because that becomes their common experience. And because of that, you can always change it through psychological therapies that can teach you techniques to cope. A shy child may be more likely to isolate themselves in a playground - and feel more comfortable being on their own Credit: Getty Images. It might be not being able to talk to people at work, difficulties socialising or being in a situation where they feel they're going to be judged or evaluated by other people.
She says that cognitive behavioural therapy CBT is the most effective psychological therapy for people who have shyness and social anxiety. This evidence-based therapy works by trying to change your thought and behaviour patterns.
Focusing on the people in the room rather than whether you're speaking correctly can help calm public speaking nerves, experts say Credit: Getty Images. Sometimes the problem is that people who struggle with something like public speaking due to shyness often set themselves very high standards for how they should perform in such a situation, she explains. If they are able to relieve some of the pressure on themselves, allowing themselves short pauses to take a breath might help alleviate some of that anxiety.
Focusing on the audience rather than yourself can help you be less caught up in whether you stumble over your words. She also suggests challenging yourself by being more open to new situations. This means changing your script. Ask yourself what you fear most about social situations. Are you worried about appearing boring? Or running out of things to say? The more you know about your anxiety, the more you can start to challenge it. Jessie Sun, a PhD student at the University of California Davis who researches the psychology of personality, stresses that shyness and introversion are not the same thing.
Western culture puts great emphasis on making eye contact - but not every other culture is as comfortable with this Credit: Getty Images. Shy people are often introverted, but they might also be extroverts whose anxiety gets in the way of being sociable. And non-shy introverts might be socially adept but just prefer their own company.
But could introverts get in on some of that joy and enthusiasm — by just acting extroverted? Sun and her colleagues did an experiment. They asked people to act extroverted for an entire week — which is a long time for someone who is shy. But the people who were more introverted didn't experience as much of that boost in positive emotion.
And the people who were extreme introverts actually felt more tired and experienced more negative emotion. Extroverts tend to have better feelings of wellbeing, but asking introverts to try and "fake" an extroverted attitude can leave them feeling drained Credit: Getty Images.
The United States is said to value confident , extroverted behaviour over introversion, whereas studies have found that in parts of Asia, including Japan and China, being quiet and reserved is more desirable.
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